can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Enjoy the penises
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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