My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Terrible idea I love it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
