What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
