That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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