I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
