This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
