The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize