I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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