To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize