and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
