I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
