So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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