I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
