If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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