Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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