After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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