So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
