well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
