oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
