People in love make me want to vomit
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
