When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
