I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
