Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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