The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
