I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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