WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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