I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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