Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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