I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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