I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize