So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
