it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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