So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i came on her dog
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
