im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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