he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
