I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
only you would photoshop your dick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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