Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
