I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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