ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
