sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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