guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
