the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
