I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
