i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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