just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
