walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
