My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
40s are totally the cure
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
