I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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