saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize