my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Found the puke drawer
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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