I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
