hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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