dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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