I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
