What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize