Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
