What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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