Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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