i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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