Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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