i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
