The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
