Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
